there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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