Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
