I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
