Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
sarcasm needs its own font
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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