Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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