ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
