He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
