There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
