I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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