I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
