I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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