So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
