Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
