is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
