I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
