u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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