do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
