I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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