D3 body, D1 cock
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
