sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
