I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
