How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
