Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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