I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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