I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
