Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
