I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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