There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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