you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
