So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
