Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
