why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
