well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
