Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
