There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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