Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize