A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize