We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
