you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
