My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
