For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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