We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize