Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
