so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
