We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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