but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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