you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
