i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
