You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
