so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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