4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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