The maid of honor just puked.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
