its not stalking. its research.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
