Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
