sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
