Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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