Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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