thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
smell my finger.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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