"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
