She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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