today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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