they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
