in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Less talking, more tequila
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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