its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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