we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
