Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
