I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize