Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
